I know its a lot but if you can spare 10 minutes to read it would be good to get a bit of feed back from people - Please be honest.....



Do not try to bend the spoon,
That’s imposable;
Merely try to bend your self

If we do not know what freedom is, how can we ever be free?
There is an old rhetorical Question used as a meditation aid that most will know but few truly see its purpose. “If a tree falls in the forest, dose it makes a sound?”
Automatically we answer “yes, of course it dose” and the argument goes, “because we just know, science tells us it dose. Physics of sound waves and all that”…and I’m sure a tree probable dose make a sound when it falls, but the real purpose of this question is to get you to ask yourself the further question, well how do I really know it dose? This should then lead us on to the second question, how do I know that anything around me is what it is? that this up and that is down, this is left and that is right, and many among us will just say well cos it is, just because. Now really come on, just think for a second, the answer if we are truly honest is that we don’t know. But at some point in our life we have been told it or we have read it and therefore these are the things we take as granted and as truths that define the world, its structure and rules and ultimately us and who we are…

Anyway its rhetorical, it’s just an aid remember it’s designed to help you look at the world from a slightly different angel. Leading you very subtlety from one question to the next, from one frame of mind to the next almost like a key to help you open your eyes to a different perspective on the world and yourself…

So dear reader as you have given me the curtsey of reading thus far. I would ask of you a minute more of your time and if you can, keep you mind in that open and slightly different perspective.

Some time back I went to visit my elderly grandparents; it was at a time in my life when I was looking for answers. To life or spirituality or the world, I wasn’t sure. It so hard to begin with because you know you need an answer but you don’t know what the question is. You just know there’s something. This feeling that something not quite right that there’s something missing in a way….Know what I mean? So anyway, on my mum’s, as always wise advice (“they have been around almost three times as long as you have been alive, they might just know something about life”.) I went to see them. My grandmother is an amazing woman and still full of love and passion for life. I asked her what advise she could give me about my life and why did it not seem to be fulfilling. She started saying well as far as remember you’ve got a good job, pays well, nice flat, car, girlfriend, game Station– not always in that order. So what’s the problem? You have all the things your supposed to have. But its just not quite doing it is it?
She looked across the table at me intensely “If you could do anything with your life, would it be what you are doing now…..?”
“Really truly deep down”. After a silent minute of so….I replied, if I could do anything. Id be off working somewhere abroad, I don’t know, there’s so much.
maybe out in the South America doing conservation work, or learning to play an instrument or studying ancient history in Egypt or something worthwhile like helping rebuilding after the tsunami,. There so much we would love to do if we had the time. ..
“Right there is the answer she cried”. Stop for just a second and think bout what you just said, look around you at the world in which we live. Even now after at least 8 thousand years of so called civilization with all our wealth, technology and science, all our knowledge and leaps forward in medicine and health care. We still have poverty on a massive scale that seems to be getting worse rather than better, we have mass generside, war, oppression, slavery, sex trade, organ harvesting, pain, suffering, all things still going on all over the world today, now this very second. Why? Why is it still happening? How many of us if we could, would stop this in a second? If we had a magic wand that could bring about world peace and end it all, would you? So what’s stopping us? Why aren’t you out in South America doing conservation work or helping with the aftermath of the tsunami? As usual my now well versed almost automatic response comes. Well you need to save so much money and you’ve got to pay the bills, the mortgage on the flat the car on Hp, I’ve got a good job now. And traveling would be fun but employers don’t look on it very well and you not really doing anything for your carrier are you.
But is that how you want to live? If you could do any thing with your life, would it be this? what makes you think that is what you have to do? do you for a sec really think that is what you should do with your brief time on this planet, “son you think a year goes quickly, dam if a life time don’t go quick and I should know (she’s in her 80’s) It’s a bit like being at the end of a roller costar ride, and if your brave enough you through your arms up in the air and wide eyed, you take it all in, experience it, embrace it, enjoy it, love it… but so many of us are like that kid who crouches down in his seat and keeps his eyes tight shut, until it feels like its ok, and then suddenly realize it’s the end of the ride now, time to get off, and they missed it all and want to do it all again.
So do you really think a carrier and a mortgage and a car and a nice TV, expensive clothes another computer game, is what its all about? do you see anyone at all around you that has got all that and is truly happy and has fulfillment from those things? We think we will be but we get them and were still not happy, we still have this emptiness, this need, answers to a question we do not know. So we buy more things and get a bigger house and a second car and a promotion and more money and because we have more money we spend more money looking for that fulfillment and are spending comes up in line with our earnings and so we are no better of its just life’s a little more expensive and still this feeling that, this is not it… I’m looking at my grandmother with a slightly puzzled look at this point and she turned to me and said…. Don’t you doubt it for a second, just look around you. The most common complaint to GPs is now depression, a deep rooted unhappiness, people are spending more and more money in an attempt to find happiness in material things and short term fixes , the spend last Christmas for example was a new record, because of course that’s what Christmas means to us now, spending money. But in a way we are looking for that something else, when we do that. because it’s the brief time of the year when we can get some of that happiness and that love and satisfaction, in giving and sharing and spending time with the family, but why do we feel we can only do this at one time of the year and only by spending money? And then what goes wrong, in so many homes, after two days people are ready to kill each other. We start to get irritated by them and snap, In the most, childish ways and over the most petty of things. Now if it was someone else doing those things and not us, we would think “what a prate!” Why don’t people just stop occasionally and think about what there doing, but we don’t, We move from mundane thought to mundane thought, get up, go to work, talk crap, eat food, come home, switch on TV, Eat more food, watch more TV, Sleep (release) Start again, hello! What’s wrong with this picture here, Its almost like are life stile is reversing evolution. Or more precisely “are society is finding more efficient ways of keeping us standing still”
So what are we missing, , could it be are Liberal and godless life’s that the church so claims? Why then are People turning away from the church?, attendance is at an all time low. But people are not losing there spirituality they are merely looking for another medium to channel it through, the attendance at alternative religions and practices is soaring. I’m not saying the church has it all wrong but maybe because the church is so tied up with history and tradition and practice that is has forgotten how to truly give spiritually to people and it ridged and in ways very restricting approach to worship has pushed people away from it, which is a great shame because all religions at there heart have some great truths to teach us, There is at the very least 2 thousand years of history and insight into life and the world, tied up in most of them. You know they just might teach us something….? However it may be equally as likely that it is us that have forgotten how to connect with our spirituality. I mean how can we even start to understand, when we live in a society that tries to fit in its spirituality, for 20 minutes some time between getting home and before are favorite soap starts. Surly it should be the other way round, no? well call me crazy, but surly spirituality is a life stile not a life stile accessory. Just maybe could it be that are loss of direction as a peoples, are inner longing for spirituality or answers and this unfulfilled feeling, stems from the society we live in. From day one we are yoked into a orderly and structured society full of rules and laws. Things that are taken as granted and as truths. This is how society is and how it will be and how it has always been. There is 8 thousand years of history telling us that this is how we must live and this is what we should strive for, But just think back to the question of the tree in the forest, how do we really know? History is really only as old as the oldest living person. Before which we must look to books to tell us what has been and as it has been written, we take it that this must be true. What if, I don’t know lets say at some point in time all of or history was re written or adapted to fit someone’s agenda, just for sake of argument at a time in history where all access to literature and knowledge was restricted and controlled.? All it would really take is a few generations, What if we were still living in the legacy of that deception today. It was Napoleon that once said “History is a bunch of lies agreed upon and is always written by the winners.”

But before you jump up and say don’t be silly, just think about it, you don’t really know, do you? Its just a granted, so yeah of course its true, she winked silly as if to say get you head round that. But we don’t think about it do we, she continued, and even now you’ve dismissed the possibility, cos are brains aren’t trained to think like that, we go from logical conclusion to logical conclusion. Impulse to impulse, But just stop and think,
put life into different perspectives occasionally, actually think about your life.

When we are children my grandmother continued on some sort of tenures link, we are free we have no really worries, life is amazing and new and exciting, every thing we see and touch and hear, bring fresh insight into life, sometimes new and a bit frightening, I remember you cried you eyes out the first time you saw the dog, until you stroked it and realized it was a friend. But also we have amazing innocents and freedom I saw a kid in a bar garden once pick up out the bush’s a Adder and walk across to his parents – the entire garden of people jumped over the fence in shock and fright, The child not yet condition to fear, just held the snake out across his hands and despite the snake being venomous it lay perfectly still and on his parents instructions he put the snake back down in the bush and of it went off into the overgrowth.
Maybe the words of Socrates hold some truth after all, “No Evil can befall a good man” , How many times have you heard story’s of babies or children falling down, or being found after getting into circumstances that would do an adult great injury, but the children are fine. Science tells us that it is because children and usually relaxed and that they are still soft and growing so they “bounce” more. But just think for a second, children live in a world of freedom and adventure and play, where the only limit of possibility is your imagination. Were your mind is at its most free, were you could say at its most in contact with your inner self, your spirituality, you are unaware of concepts of race and religion of war, poverty, hate and jealousy. You are truly free, you imagine you can jump great distances or fly or move mountains and live in great castles in the sky. But as you grow older you begin to find out that life isn’t like this in the “Real world”. The real word is a far different place defined in logical and rational concepts and terms. We begin to put away childish thoughts and relies the world around us has a structure and order it has boundaries and borders and divisions and we must work within and be governed by those principles of this realty, We start our school life and follow ordered structured classes and curriculums, a Hierarchy, a set of codes and rules, the core subjects are always maths, English and science the fundamental building blocks of the world we live in and the principles we define it by. But so much of the time other subjects and activities are pushed to the side wings, the arts particular are regarded as less important than the core subjects. You hear so many stories about schools being under funded and understaffed. Meaning there is very limited scope for what and how they can teach. That much more time is being taken up by paper work. Heads of departments no longer having time to teach because of the bureaucratic. Almost like a business. Now don’t get me wrong learning is one of the most amazing things you can ever do, it will truly set you free, and therefore, surly teachers should be given every recourse they need. That education should be over funded if anything. That every single child should have access to unlimited learning, in any and all fields from music to science to arts to spirituality, to cooking to history to have the recourses and the support to nurturer that and develop it.
Rather than always placing restrictions in front of that freedom of the mind and limit those once limitless possibilities that we have as a child.
How many of us going through school, really don’t want to be there, as much as we know we should, we all would much rather be out playing and having fun. We have this dilemma in a way were we know we should be there to learn because it is important but in some way maybe we instinctively rebel against this alien environment this conditioning in a way, that is attempting to define our world and lives in terms of logic and rational. In some sort of preparation for a society that perpetuates that same order and limitation. Why should we think that children will want to follow that same path as there parents if they can some how, see that deep down there parents are not happy,
that in some way they can see that adults seem to have lost something that children have, Are we naive enough to think that our children don’t sense every single emotion and tension in the home whether spoken or not. Never forget they are an extension of us, they have been created by and from us and we are emotionally and spiritually tied to them.
Son you know you can go off to South America and do conservation work if you wanted. My grandmother said, and yes it is hard to make it happen, you almost have to go against every thing that society tells you is the sensible option, the right option. You should be thinking about your carrier, you retirement, your pension, getting on the property ladder, getting a car a TV, sofa, DVD all on hp, get in debt keep paying, keep working,
keep buying, keep paying, keep working….. Do you know we have the longest working hours in Europe, and strangely the highest levels of stress... Because we have to work so much to keep paying for a lifestyle we think we want we are spending less and less time with the family, family dinners in most houses have been reduced to Microwave meals in front of the TV. There is no communication in the family any more, is it any wonder that our streets are full of board, lost and misguided angry youths. In there own way looking for some solidarity and answers to something that isn’t this? Is it any wonder people work all week and then go out to get as drunk as possible, weather to shut off from work or to try and get some sort of enjoyment in the small amount of time we have between work. People say to me that to go off round the world is just escaping from reality. If you want to talk about escapism I see thousands of people going to work every day in jobs they hate but in some way they convince them selves that there job is there life that this is the focus of there life and absorb them self in there carriers. They work all week in the same place and go to the same pub with the same people and have the same conversations and drink to forget then start all over again on Monday, and then one day there 40 and they think well just a few more years and I can retire and I can really begin to enjoy life and do all those things I’ve always wanted to do but never had time to. You tell me who is afraid of facing reality and embracing life. Do you really expect us to believe, that is the way we can or want to live. In this continues hamster wheel of just earning enough to go to work again the next day. Is this what life is all about…? Surly the minute amount of time we have on this world, this blink of and eye is worth more than that. If some one came up to you in the street and said he would give you £10 to run up and down for an hour, I'm sure most of us would tell him were to go. But yet we speed 40 hours a week doing just this at work. Oh but that’s ok because it’s a job? To pay for a life stile that’s not making us happy. Hmm I understand completely. Have you noticed no matter how much money you earn and houses and possessions you own, that deep longing still doesn’t go away. So people keep looking, some have a child, and unfortunately in so many cases this is a big part of the resign, they have kids to try in a way to fill that need, that’s what must be missing. And in a way it is a small bit of it, because for many a child is an amazing blessing this little life that you have created and for the first time you really truly love some thing more than yourself. And you grow within yourself and are drawn to emotions of kindness and generosity and love and protection and really begin to open your heart and mind a little more… but unfortunately for so many it is not the answer they were looking foe and they feel trapped and unprepared for life as a parent, I’ve seen girls of 5 holding there baby sisters in third world country’s, that are more mature and grown up than most 20 something mothers I know.
I suffered after your dad was born. post natal depression my grandmother said, there was still this empty feeling that I thought should have gone and I blamed my self for not loving my child as much as I thought I should. But soon, I realized that I did love my child with all my heart and that I would die for him and that there was something else that was still burning in the back of my mind, something telling me there was something just not quite right with the world and us. Only now with most of my years behind me and life holding no fear any more do I begin to see at least a small part of the truth.
Why are we stuck in this cycle of work and money, of violence and hatred? Who benefits from it staying this way? We have the capacity to stop it all within a generation, if just one generation stood up and said No, I don’t want the message of hatred and division and differences, of limitation of compliance I don’t want to plunder the reassures of our would, I don’t want to fight the batters of my forefathers. They are long dead and there hated and violence should die with them. I want freedom and tolerance and equality in our would. “Our world” remember yours and mine, all of ours, if a person was being beaten or starving in your back yard would you not do something to help? then just because there is an invisible line on a map we believe it has nothing to do with us or dose not affect us. Is this the world that you want to live in?
But how do we change things how do we work with or agents a system as complex and powerful as the world we know, how do we make a difference for the better. It seems imposable doesn’t it, we are beaten at the first hurdle even comprehending how we could change things is difficult. Let alone the effort of making it happen, with all society’s barriers holding you back. Seems almost easer to just follow the easy root and stay in the comfortable routine of working and existing. But you know what that life holds and you know deep down its not doing it for you.
We are all capable of changing our lives all of us, especially in a country such as ours where we have far less barriers to freedom than many. But freedom is a strange concept. We all perceive that we live in a free society but how can we really now we’re free if we don’t know what freedom is ?
As individuals we have the ability to shine and reach new heights of learning, technologies, medicines, abstract concepts of time and space, masterpieces of art and music. Insights into life and the world. Imagine if you can for a minute that every person had the opportunities and backing to fulfill there full potential in life. With out fear or hindrance. Just think of the amazing amazing things we could achieve as a people, as a world, as a whole race. The want and the need is there, as I said early, people are still looking for that spirituality that fulfillment, that answer in all sorts of ways, we are moving back again towards the “real” things in life. There were more people protesting the latest war, than have ever marched in demonstration in this country, we have record levers of voter apathy and events like live 8 takes place in protest of world poverty. These all send out a message load and clear. We all saw the response of the public after the tragic events in the tsunami; our donations put the government’s contribution to shame, in a mater of days, I was very proud that day. But not just in this country. But world wide the contributions of money, aid, expertise, skills, and help by ordinary people, people going out to there to help identify body’s, doctors going out to help contain illness, and ordinary people, you and me, HGV drivers volunteering to drive aid trucks down. Builders and laborers going out to help with reconstruction. People are starting to change, people are begging to stand up and be counted begging to say I want to change this. As the world shrinks so do some of the barriers and we have now more than ever a chance to make a real difference. This is just the beginning. The world is begging to change. We have been in the cycle of Technology and scientific development and we are beginning to move into a new cycle and change is on its way. For to long there has been an imbalance in the word, that you not so much know, but seem to feel it deep inside. Open Your eyes really look around you, really listen. The truth is right in front of you interwoven into the very fabric of society it calls out to you that there is much more.
But if that is so I replied and society is both leading us and in many ways holding us back and limiting us. Then how do we know that it is not all just a masquerade there to make us want and fight for freedom and answers and love and compassion and friendship and unity. How can we truly know we are free if we have not struggled for it, She turned and fixed me with friendly smile .Is the outcome any different?
So what’s your contribution to life?


But now we come to the end of my story and soon you will turn the page and by the end of the day if not the next page, you will have forgotten all that you read here and all that it made you think of and feel. You will go back to your life and forget that you ever thought that it could be any different. Because ultimately we are all prisoners of our own illusion …

Beautiful...

Thank you Stonwin

i really needed to read that !

Thank you guys

great to now I’ve even reached one person. cool that’s going to put be on a high for the rest of the day . thank you! -