delete?

sherwin - whatcha SAYIN'?

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oh please don't try to be nice to people who are rude! just walk away! ha ha

it's all a filtering process, isn't it? i know that i get upset if someone says i was acting differently around someone, because i always just try to be myself, and true. but with that of course comes all of our insecurities, and in accepting that we will never be perfect we will come to be much less hard on ourselves on a daily basis. listen to the messages you give yourself every day for a week; write them down if you have to. are you being kind to yourself? or are you cutting yourself down every time you stub your toe or drop something? loving yourself makes everything in life so much easier. and you can do it quietly - just by changing those messages to ones that lift you up. LIFE will knock you down for sure - hopefully only occasionally, and PEOPLE will try to knock you down. but nobody or nothing can actually do it unless you let them - and that strength comes from WITHIN.

peace sherwin!

Here's my take on the situation. Maybe it's a rude response, in which case I recommend utalizing sharlene's advice. However, why bother trying to make someone like you? I don't really see the point. Let's say they do end up liking you. Do they like you, or that mask you're wearing? People should like you for who you are, be it friendly, crabby or anything else.

Having reread your post, I think you're on the right track. I don't know about the situation, but keep in mind that we don't really know people or who or what they are interested in. There is really no point in trying to assume what they want? Perhaps you'd be doing yourself a disservice anyways.

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"So, having made life into a technical process, conforming to a particular pattern of action, which is merely technique, naturally we have lost confidence in ourselves, and therefore we are increasing our inward struggle, our inward pain and confusion. Confusion can be dissolved only through self-confidence, and this confidence cannot be gained through another. You have to undertake, for yourself and by yourself, the journey of discovery into the process of yourself, in order to understand it. This does not mean you are withdrawn, aloof. On the contrary, Sirs, confidence comes the moment you understand, not what others say, but your own thoughts and feelings, what is happening in yourself and around you. Without that confidence which comes from knowing your own thoughts, feelings and experiences – their truth, their falseness, their significance, their absurdity - , without knowing that, how can you clear up the whole field of confusion which is yourself?
…
Having lost self confidence, our problem is how to get it back – if we ever had it at all. Because, obviously, without the element of confidence we shall be led astray by every person we come across – and that is exactly what is happening.
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Therefore, never accept any authority. Sir, after all, acceptance of authority indicates that the mind wants comfort, security. A mind that seeks security either with a guru or in a party, political or any other, a mind that is seeking safety, comfort, can never find truth, even in the smallest things of our existence. So, a man who wants this creative self-confidence must obviously be burning with the desire to know the truth of everything, not about empires or the atomic bomb, which is merely a technical matter, but in our human relationships, our relationship with others, and our relationship to property and to ideas. If I want to know the truth, I begin to enquire; and before I can know the truth of anything, I must have confidence. To have confidence, - p. 26 – I must enquire into myself and remove those causes that prevent each experience from giving its full significance.
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We are not self-confident, there is no confidence in us, that creative thing which gives sustenance, life, vitality, understanding. We have lost it, or we have never had it; and, because we do not know how to judge anything, we have been led here and pushed there, beaten up, driven, politically, religiously and socially. We don’t know – but it is difficult to say we don’t know.
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So, that is the first requirement, is it not? To know the truth of anything psychologically, you cannot seek comfort; because, the moment you want comfort, security, a haven in which you are protected, you will have what you want, but what you have will not be the truth. Therefore, you will be persuaded by another who offers a greater comfort, a greater security, a better refuge; and so you are driven from port to port, and that is why you have lost confidence. You have no confidence because you have been driven from one refuge to another by your own desire to be comfortable, to be secure. So, a man who would seek the truth in relationship must be free of the destructive and limiting desire to be comfortable, to be secure. This fear of losing oneself psychologically must go. Only then can you find the truth of reincarnation or of anything else, because you are seeking truth and not security. Then truth will reveal to you what is right, and therefore you will have confidence. Sir, is it not more important to find out the truth than to believe that there is or is not continuity?"


1948 3rd Public Talk, Bangalore, India
‘The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Vol. V’
http://www.katinkahesselink.net/kr/confiden.html

^ Thanks

not being control over your mind is what leads to suffering most of the time

desire leads to attachment and attachment is suffering

thats the way I see it but i think too different from smart people ha

An impartial view of yourself is always handy. Many people can probably see things about yourself you dont notice because youre just too busy being you.